The Antidote
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Come along for the ride on a very BAD day! Co-written with Tonnie. As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds.


**Author's Note: Hope all of you like this fluffy little oneshot! Tonnie and I had a ball writing it. Drop us a review or PM and let us know your thoughts. As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds.**

**The Antidote**

As Jennifer Jareau rested her muddy head back against the seat, she cast a sidelong glance in her partner's direction. To his credit, he'd not said a word about her unfortunate lack of luck today. Well, up until the last incident. The last incident had pushed him over the proverbial edge…figuratively and unfortunately literally.

The day had started out innocently enough. At the morning's meeting, Hotch had given the entire team their orders for the day….tie up the loose ends of their latest case so that they could get the hell out of this Georgia wasteland tomorrow. Easy enough…talk to a few witnesses, fill out a few forms, and brief the local police officers on the resolution of their case. Their job here was effectively done…the unsub caught. This SHOULD have been an easy day. SHOULD being the operative word. Of course, nothing was ever easy for Jennifer Jareau when she was partnered with the well known David Rossi.

Damn Aaron Hotchner for putting her in this predicament. Damn, damn, and double damn him! Her boss knew how she felt about the man sitting beside her. Even before he'd joined the team, JJ had been fascinated by the older man, reading his long books in single sittings. Her admiration had only grown when he'd joined the team. He was a force to be reckoned with, both professionally and personally.

And today, instead of being the coolly poised, professional JJ Jareau, she'd humiliated herself beyond belief. Repeatedly and at great length. And thirty minutes ago, she'd managed to bring David Rossi on the ride with her. Damn, Hotch!

Her horrible day had started when she'd accidentally spilled coffee all over a file that morning causing the secretary at the police department to reproduce documentation of the search warrants they had used to arrest their unsub. She was sure she'd heard the woman mumble under her breath, "If these are the nation's watch dogs, we're all in trouble."

Next, on her way to breakfast across the street at the local diner, Hotch had stopped her. Turning to page four of the local newspaper, "The Crawford Gazette", he'd requested that she take a look at the article in column three. Scanning the newspaper quickly, her mouth had dropped as she read, "According to Agent Jareau the entire Behavorial Analysis Unit hopes they never have to visit this area again." Gasping, JJ looked up at her Unit Chief. "I didn't say that. Well, I didn't say that LIKE that, Hotch. What I meant was that we hope we never had to visit this area again for this reason! And I said it to the mailman!"

"JJ, the mailman IS the reporter. This town is only a thousand people," Hotch grumbled.

She'd apologized, heading directly into the local police station to her makeshift desk. Then, fate had struck her again! After warning, Spencer TEN times to tie his shoelaces, that absent minded professor had gotten those same laces tangled with her desk chair. When she'd stood up, her feet had found those laces and she'd gone sprawling across the police station's floor…directly at David Rossi's feet. Silently damning Spencer Reid to the ninth rung of hell, JJ had accepted the grinning profiler's hand and been shocked. LITERALLY!

The day had gone downhill from there. Hotch, of course, had paired her up with a man her made her heart race and her mouth water. On a good day, David Rossi made her nervous…on a bad…the results didn't bear thinking about.

After she and the object of her numerous fantasies had been paired off, JJ had grabbed the keys from the desk and walked toward their waiting SUV.

"JJ, let me drive?" he'd said. "It's foggy this morning."

"Why, Agent Rossi, you wouldn't be scared, would you? Tell me you're not one of those men that think a perfectly capable woman can't drive without hitting something." she'd replied.

Blowing out a breath, he'd shrugged his broad shoulders and redirected himself to the passenger side of the vehicle. If either one of them had realized how prophetic her words were, she'd have gladly tossed the easygoing man the keys.

Thirty minutes later, they were cow's nose to bumper with Bessie, Farmer Edwards prize-winning heifer. She truly didn't think she'd ever forget the sound of David Rossi screaming like a girl caught with her pants down. When they'd left the inconsolable farmer an hour later, with David behind the wheel, he'd still been mumbling about suing if his best milker stopped producing. The FBI would owe him for loss of wages, he'd declared.

Not a mile down the road, her cell phone had rang. Flashing Dave a quick smile, JJ had answered her phone only to hear Garcia shrieking at the other end.

"Garcia, calm down! You know no one can understand you when you talk at those supersonic speeds of yours," JJ had told her friend calmly.

"Sweetie, I'm soooo sorry, but Billy down in security…you know, that sweetie that always starts my car for me when it's cold, just called. He said that new security officer on the night shift…well, he had your car towed last night," Garcia said apologetically.

"What?" she'd screeched. "It hasn't been there any longer than anybody else's on the team!" JJ had yelled, ignoring the concerned glances Rossi was flashing her as he drove.

"Listen, Gumdrop, you know how those agent wannabes are! Anyway, I just wanted to give you the heads up," Garcia had explained.

"Thanks, Garcia. I need to call and straighten this out," JJ had said as she'd violently snapped closed her phone and banged her head against the leather headrest.

"Problem, honey?" Dave had asked her in that sure tone of his.

"You have no idea!" she'd raged. Quickly filling him in on events, he'd merely held out his hand for her phone.

Within minutes, he'd had her car being delivered back to the parking garage as she'd sat watching him in awe. What would have taken her an afternoon to accomplish had taken the powerful man at her side less than fifteen minutes.

Mumbling her thanks to him as he'd turned their SUV into a diner, Dave had turned to look at her. "Maybe some food will help," he'd suggested.

"Couldn't hurt," she'd said. How wrong she'd been.

They'd been seated in the diner mere seconds when a teenybopper waitress had bopped over to their table. She'd taken their order quickly, smiling coyly at David the entire time. That damn waitress had flirted with Rossi the entire meal. To his credit, he'd kept his responses polite but neutral. As the waitress had brought David's dessert, chocolate pie, to the table, she had started the addle brained twit by reaching for the ketchup. Much to her chagrin, she was promptly covered in gooey chocolate chunk pie and vanilla ice cream. And, that had been lunch!

The day had only gotten more memorable from there. After she'd cleaned herself up in the tiny bathroom at the diner, she'd met David at the door, only to see him smiling sympathetically. Feeling him guide her out of the restaurant with a gentle hand at her back (quite possibly to protect Georgia's population from her), he'd commented that the first witness signature they needed was only a mile away.

Thirty minutes later, David had gained the elderly witnesses signature while she had ran to and fro over the old woman's yard. It had seemed the old lady's pet goose had taken an instant dislike to JJ's shoes. Her ankles had the pecking marks to prove it. David Rossi had laughed for a full thirty minutes after they left. Unfortunately, she'd lost her sense of humor some hours prior.

So when David had pulled into the final witness's home only to be told by his wife that he was down at the creek fishing, JJ had very nearly reached the end of her rope. Ever the gentleman, Dave had offered to let her wait in the car while he made the walk down to the water. But, she in her feminist stupidity had refused to be left behind. Her collasal mistake. And it was that mistake that had allowed her to fall into this current situation…taking David along with her.

When they'd gotten to the creek, both had noticed that not only was Mr. Hobbs at the creek…he was on the far side of it. Sighing, David had told JJ to wait at the top of the embankment. And, yet again, she'd stubbornly refused. Following him down the steep slope, JJ's black flat had slipped in the mud throwing her down the slope. David had tried to catch her as she'd fallen, knocking himself off balance as he'd lurched to try and catch her rolling body. Then, he too, had come tumbling down after her.

As his body skidded to a stop beside hers moments later, he'd turned his head to give her a quizzical look. "Exactly what did you do to piss off God this much, JJ?"

"I'm not sure," she'd returned trying to lift her bruised body off the ground. Finally gaining her feet, she'd extended a hand to help him up.

Looking at her arm warily, he'd shaken his head.

"Oh just take it, you coward," JJ bit out through gritted teeth.

Finally wrapping her small hand in his much larger one, David grinned. "Can you really blame me. Woman, you've spent the last several hours being a menace to this nice little town."

"Nice little town, my ass! I want out of here," she'd yelled. "I wanna go home!" she shouted, jumping from one foot to the other.

She'd known he'd been fighting laughter. And, in hindsight, she supposed that she'd been a sight to see…covered in mud and jumping furiously around a creek bed. But at the time, her overwhelmed emotions had been uncontrollable and his smirk had been too much. She'd only meant to slap his chest. Pushing him in the creek was entirely an accident.

So, it was no surprise that when he'd emerged sputtering from the creek, he'd given her a wide birth.

"Rossi, I'm so sorry," she'd gasped.

Pointing toward their waiting SUV, Rossi had growled, pointing to the vehicle, "Up. There. Now."

"Now, Dave," she'd said, holding up her hands in surrender.

"Jennifer, when was the last time you had a spanking exactly," Dave had asked threateningly, raising a brow at her. "Wait in the car where you can't injure me, yourself or any other poor innocent bastards today."

"Fine!" she'd yelled stomping up the hill once more.

As he'd hauled himself out of the water, he let the chuckle he'd been biting back escape. Yeah, the beautiful blonde he'd admired for months just might have finally snapped. And, David Rossi couldn't wait to see what she did next.

***

An hour later, as much as David Rossi quietly adored the blonde media liasson by his side, he could have quite happily gagged her. Quite frankly, if he didn't think she could have taken him, he WOULD have gagged her. Unfortunately, he knew how accurate she was with the firearm at her side and it was even odds whether he could have managed the feat without obtaining a bullet wound somewhere on his person. So, he drove…and he listened. He listened for sixty whole minutes to her rant about the multiple injustices she'd suffered this day. Well, at any rate, he'd heard. Listening might have been a stretch at some points.

Regardless, by the time they'd reached the parking lot of the rundown hotel they were staying at, he had reached his breaking point. Ears still ringing from her nonstop angry rants, he finally snapped. Looking at her flashing eyes, he'd shouted above her words, "Enough, Jennifer! Enough!"

Stopping mid-rant, JJ had focused angry eyes on the man in front of her as he yelled, "Woman, do you realize you've yelled for an hour straight? For sixty damn minutes I have heard you curse everything from this town to your luck. For the love of God, enough! Here's exactly what you're gonna do. You're going to go into your room and I'll lock you in there. That way, you're safe from this town and the world is safe from you! I swear to God, I've never seen somebody so cursed in my life!"

Grabbing the handle to the SUV's door, JJ glared at the man beside her. "Your help is the LAST thing I need, David Rossi. YOUR help is what got me in half the jams I was in today. If I wasn't a basket case from having to deal with you, none of this would have happened!"

"What the hell do you mean by that? How in the HELL did I make YOU nervous?" Dave asked, truly confused by the pretty, albeit, muddy woman at his side.

"Oh, never mind! Suffice it to say, that if you were the last man on earth, I wouldn't ask for anything from you!" JJ raged, pushing open the door and marching into the motel, past their gathered team.

Following her out of the vehicle, David called, "JJ, wait! You owe me some explanations, woman!"

"Go to hell, Rossi," JJ snapped, slamming her motel room door.

"What the heck did you do to her, Dave?" Hotch asked tiredly.

"And why was she covered in mud? Come to think of it, why are YOU covered in mud?" Prentiss added.

"JJ NEVER slams doors," Reid whispered.

"Don't know what you done, man, but I suggest you fix it. That woman has no problem taking out her anger on everybody in her path!" Morgan moaned.

"I didn't do anything! At least, I don't think I did," Rossi muttered, staring at her closed door. "We had a few problems today. Well, she did, at any rate. I thought I was helping!"

Shaking his head at the bemused older man, Hotch said dryly, "Evidently, you're losing your ability to charm the ladies. We're going to drive over to the nightclub we saw on the way in here. I doubt JJ is going to feel like accompanying us tonight. How about you?"

Shaking his head Rossi muttered, nodding to ward JJ's door, "I don't think so. I'm gonna be a little busy figuring out what I did to the little blonde whirlwind in there."

"Good luck with that, Chief," Morgan replied on his way past them to the door.

"Yeah, JJ knows how to hold a grudge like nobody I've ever seen," Reid whispered, following Morgan.

"You want me to talk to her, Rossi?" Emily asked.

"No. Whatever this is, it's between she and I. But, thanks."

Nodding, Emily slipped out.

Flashing a rare grin in Dave's direction, Hotch asked, "Can you honestly not figure it out, Dave?"

"Apparently not, Aaron," Rossi returned, sarcastically. "All I know is the woman I find to be the most rational, sane person on earth turned into a stark, raving lunatic today. That spitfire pushed me in a creek, Hotch! And then she told me that I make HER nervous!"

"Now, tell me, Dave, WHAT could possibly make a woman act this way?" Hotch asked patiently in a way that plainly said Dave should know this answer.

"Hell, Aaron, I don't-," Dave began, stopping suddenly as realization dawned. Wide grin breaking over his face, he murmured, "Well, I'll be damned."

"Ah, so the legendary profiler figures it out," Hotch said with an eye roll. "It goes without saying that I expect you to treat her well, Dave. The rest of the team and I have no problem with the idea of emasculating you if you hurt her. Prentiss and Garcia would perform the service with relish if they thought the situation warranted it."

"How long have you known, Hotch?" Dave asked with a raised brow.

"About you or about her?" Hotch sighed.

"Either! Both!"

"Since the day you two looked at each other in my office your first day back. I knew there were gonna be fireworks," Hotch replied. "Honestly, I thought you'd make your move long before now."

"She runs scared any time I get too close! Case in point - today! Granted, today is worse than it's ever been…"

"Talk to her, Dave," Hotch ordered.

"I will. Don't you worry about that," Dave grinned, going into his room.

***

Standing underneath the hot spray of the shower, JJ rinsed the last of the shampoo from her long tangled hair. Shaking the water drops from her eye, JJ absently twisted the shower knob off. Bracing her arms against the fiberglass wall of the shower's door she drew in a deep breath of the steamy air and tried to catch her breath. David Rossi was going to be the death of her! That was all their was to that! Never in her life had she ever let a man affect her like this. She'd always been able to maintain control of her actions and words before. But this man…this darkly handsome specimen of a man rattled her.

She knew it wasn't his fault. He'd never done anything even remotely suggestive or inappropriate. He'd always remained a perfect gentleman, his recent rant excluded. No, this was strictly her issue.

Sighing, JJ pushed aside the transparent curtain to step out of the tub. Glancing down, heart seizing in her chest, she came face to face with her worst fear and the sound that came from her throat testified to the amount of terror currently coursing through her body…

***

Humming happily to himself, David calmly buttoned the last fastening on his white dress shirt. So, he hadn't been hoping in vain for the last six months. Jennifer Jareau HAD taken more than a professional interest in him. Hotch had confirmed his suspicions. Now, all he had to do was convince the blonde headed temptation that he was worth a risk. He wasn't too worried. He was a master at navigating through the treacherous waters of relationships. Three ex-wives had imparted lasting lessons which he'd never forgotten. At fifty-two years old, he might just have found what he was looking for.

Jennifer Jareau was exactly what he needed. Woman enough to meet him head on and challenge him to be better than he was. And for her, he would be better. If he knew Jennifer at all, she'd demand it. For years, the idea of giving up his independence was an alien concept. After his fiasco of a last marriage, the last thing he'd wanted was another noose around his neck. Until her.

The idea of her slipping the proverbial rope around his throat made him smile. Being tied to that delectable woman had definite possibilities. More so than with any other woman he'd ever met. His attraction to her had been instantaneous and the simmering emotions he felt for her over the last few months had only grown. He'd hoped that it would ebb over time in her company. Just the opposite had transpired, however. Instead, he'd only been sucked further into the vortex. And now…now, he had confirmation that he hadn't been the only one fighting his feelings.

As he chuckled at his introspection, her scream rent the air of his room. Eyes widening, David automatically reached for his gun. Out his door in mere seconds, he hesitated only a moment at her locked door. As her second terrified scream rang in his ears, he shook his head at the flimsy lock on the door and drew back his leg, kicking the door open in one short burst.

***

Eyes quickly scanning the utilitarian bedroom for danger, his authoritative voice rang through the room as he yelled, "JJ! Where are you, honey?" Even as the words flew from his lips, his legs were rapidly eating the short distance to the adjoining bathroom.

Hearing Dave's familiar voice wash over her in the next room, JJ's eyes widened. "Where do you THINK I am?" she screamed back shrilly as the door to the bathroom bounced off the wall as he entered, gun drawn.

Seeing her, standing there, whole and unharmed, Dave felt relief sail through his body. "What in the hell are you screaming for, woman?" he asked angrily, lowering his weapon.

Pointing to the floor, JJ screeched, "THAT!"

Eyes following her wildly gesturing finger, Dave did a double take, automatically taking a step backward.

"Where are you going! David Rossi, I swear to God, you even think about leaving me in here and I'll shoot you with your own gun!" JJ yelled, watching him back up.

"I wasn't leaving! I'm assessing the situation," Dave retorted, eyeing the huge snake in front of him on the floor.

"Assessing the situation?!" JJ screamed. "Let me make it easy for you! Shoot the goddamn snake! Kill it, damn you! Kill it now!!"

"How the hell did it get in here?" Dave said incredulously, kneeling to get a better look at the reptile.

"Well, gee, Dave, I don't know! I didn't stop to ask him about his itinerary! Kill the damn snake, Rossi," JJ screamed shrilly, clutching the transparent shower curtain to her naked body.

"Honey, I can't just shoot the snake. I think those are an endangered species," Dave began, striving to keep the laughter from his voice as his eyes raised to see the exquisitely bare body of the energetically bouncing woman he was quickly becoming convinced could become the love of his very long life.

"The hell you can't! YOU"LL be the next species on that list if you don't do something NOW!" JJ spat. "Toss me the gun! I'LL shoot the damn thing!"

"Sweetheart, calm down," Dave soothed, holding up a hand.

"Calm down? Did you just tell me to calm down?" JJ asked nearing hysteria. "There's a fucking SNAKE big enough to eat us BOTH in my bathroom, Rossi. I will NOT be calming down any time soon! KILL THE SNAKE!!!"

Seeing the wild look enter her brilliant blue eyes, Dave extended an arm toward her. "Honey, just take my arm and step around it. I'll help you."

Shaking her head violently, JJ backed up against the damp wall behind her. "You're nuts! Certifiably insane if you think I'm going anywhere near that creature! Get it out of here!"

"Jennifer," David began patiently, "You're naked, wet and cold. Take my arm and get out of the shower, babe. Then, we'll take care of the snake."

Clutching the shower curtain closer to her, JJ bit out through clenched teeth, "There is no WE here, David Rossi. I'm not going near that thing! EVER!! Listen closely! I am not moving until you - KILL. IT. FIRST!"

Hearing the door to JJ's room open again, Dave turned his head slightly toward the sound to see a man in a maintenance uniform hurrying across the room.

"Rossi, focus on ME!" JJ yelled.

"I am, but someone just came in, honey, and as much as I enjoy the scenery in this room, I don't think you want to put on a floor show," Rossi chuckled

"I don't give a damn if Elvis himself walked through the door! Kill the snake, David! Now!"

"Excuse me, sir," the pimply faced teen asked advancing across the room. "Did that lady just mention a snake?"

Dave nodded grimly at the teenager. "It seems that we've got an unexpected visitor."

"Visitor, my ass! It's trespassing! And the penalty is death!! " JJ screeched. "And now it's moving! Dave, you aim that gun right now!"

"It's probably trying to escape your high pitched screams, woman. Damn it, the echoes in here are killing me, honey!"

"Oh, excuse me, Mr. Poor Pitiful YOU! You're gonna meet God sooner than you anticipated if you don't shoot that snake," JJ snapped, pressing her body harder against the wall as the snake slithered toward her.

Stepping into the bathroom's doorway the teen let out an audible sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God you found her. Bertha," he told the snake, "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"The snake has a name?" Dave asked, struggling not to laugh at the ludicrous situation.

"Yep! I'm Steve and that's," he said, pointing at the snake, "Bertha. She's my girlfriend's boa constrictor. I been lookin' for her for hours, man."

"I don't care what her name is! Get that reptile OUT of my bathroom!" JJ yelled.

Looking at the woman standing naked in the tub, Steve blinked in amazement.

"Look, can you get Bertha back in her proper habitat, kid?" Dave asked. "Kid?" Dave yelled, noticing the boy's eyes firmly fixated on the nude shivering woman ahead of them. Lips tightening, Dave smacked the boy sharply in the back of the head. "Hey! Put your eyes back in your head, Stevie and answer the question!"

"Quickly!" JJ snarled. "Otherwise, Agent Rossi may be forced to shoot you AND the spawn of Satan! What self-respecting woman has a SNAKE for a pet! My God, what kind of town IS this?"

"You can't do that, ma'am! Bertha's in a fragile state bein' that she's expectin' and all," the boy wailed.

"WHAT! That snake is having more snakes!" JJ shrieked. Eyes finding Rossi, JJ threatened, "So help me, Rossi, if you don't fix this in the next minute, I'll kill you and hide the body where not even Garcia will find it! Then I'm taking out the snake and all her evil offspring!"

"Ma'am, it ain't ole Bertha's fault! I let her out of her cage this afternoon to stretch out and she just wandered off. She musta got in here when the maid cleaned!"

Glaring at the boy, JJ ennunciated, "I don't care about the why's and wherefore's, you idiot! GET! IT! OUT!"

Nodding, the boy moved forward as the snake shifted closer to JJ. At JJ's piercing scream, the kid tried to explain, "She just likes water, ma'am. Boa's like water, ya know."

Hearing this startling information, JJ squeaked, "FIX THIS NOW, DAVID!!!" as she climbed precariously on the edge of the porcelain tub. "I have no desire to share my bathtub with that life sucking demon! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out!" JJ shrilly ordered.

Looking from the frantically bouncing woman clinging with one hand to the shower curtain and the other to the shower rod to the wide eyed kid beside him, Dave muttered, "If you know how to catch Bertha, now would be a real good time unless you want to explain to your girlfriend how her snake reached that great reptile reward in the sky, boy."

Snatching a towel from the rack beside him, Steve threw it over the snake and deftly scooped her up in his arms, dropping her in the trash can. Looking at Rossi, Steve nodded. "All done! I can't thank you enough for finding her for me. My girl really loves this snake!"

"GET IT OUT!" JJ loudly demanded, leaning against the wall.

"Son, if you hope to have any kind of future at all, don't lose that snake again before we leave. I can't guarantee her safety once that woman gets her hands on her firearm."

Nodding, Steve quickly made his way from the room, the sound of the closing door echoing against the tiles of the tiny bathroom.

***

Leveling David with a steely glare, JJ ground out, "I am soooo gonna kill you!"

Laughing, David held his hands up in front of him. "Now, honey, I couldn't kill that animal in cold blood."

"Cold blood? Nice little pun, you ass! But I'll have you know the only good snake is a dead snake!" JJ spat, shivering. "I'm wet and I'm cold and , oh my God- I'M NAKED! Why didn't you tell me I was naked?! This is all YOUR fault," JJ yelled, snatching the towel David offered from his hand and wrapping it quickly around her.

"Hey, I tried to tell you! You had your mind on other things," Dave grinned. "Besides, I quite enjoyed the show. Well, right up until the point that you gave it to another guy, too. Just so you know, I'll frown on that from now on," Dave chuckled.

"Oh, my God! I gave the kid a strip show!" JJ wailed.

"One he won't forget, too, I imagine," Dave smiled. "I know I won't."

"I think I hate you now," JJ murmured absently.

"Nah, you don't. You might need me to save you again," Dave replied with a shrug of his broad shoulders as he leaned against the door. "You gonna get out of that tub anytime soon, sweetheart? You and I have some things we need to discuss."

Looking tentatively at the floor, JJ heard Dave's laugh. "It's not funny and I've got nothing to say to you! That thing could have eaten both of us and still had room for dessert! And, furthermore, you didn't save me! It's still alive! And breeding," JJ moaned on a shiver.

"Honey, it's gone. The invader has been removed," Dave grinned. "Come on out now," Dave cajoled, offering her his arm.

Shaking her head, JJ replied, "Nuh uh, snakes travel in pairs. Daddy always said so. If you find one, you'll find two. How do I know Bertha's friend isn't around here somewhere? She got knocked up somehow!"

"JJ, that's an old wives tale about snakes in the wild, babe. Bertha was domesticated. She had a name, after all."

"I don't give a crap what her name was! I'm not intending on having any further conversations with that scaly bitch!"

"That's not love I hear in your voice, babe," Dave replied. "You need to get out of the tub, honey. I'm getting a little worried about your sanity over here."

"Forget it! If you'd given a flying flip about me, you'd have killed that menace when I asked you to!"

"Honey, I wasn't gonna let it hurt you," Dave consoled. "I've got a vested interest in your future well being," he told her, crossing the small room.

"Yeah, right!" JJ snapped. "You were just gonna stand there and let me be snake fodder! I am not stepping anywhere that snake's been!"

Shaking his head at her belligerently set face, Dave lifted the towel clad woman in his arms. "Fine, there's more than one way to skin a snake," Dave muttered, carrying her into the bedroom.

As soon as he dropped her slight weight to the bed's mattress, JJ scrambled to her knees. "I'm not staying in here, Rossi! I will not share my room with a slithering serpent! It ain't happening," she railed, clutching his arm. "You get me out of here! I mean it!"

"Babe-"

"NO, I don't want to hear it! I've dealt with flying pies, suicidal cows, slippery slopes, slutty waitresses, and rabid geese today! I will NOT deal with escaped expectant snakes! That's my limit! My line in the sand! My-"

Slapping a hand over her still moving mouth, David raised an eyebrow. "I got it, sweetheart." Scooping her up, comforter and all, he told her, striding confidently toward the door, "I've got no problem at all sharing my room with you. Somebody has to save the world from you tonight and I suppose I get to be that lucky bastard."

"Save the world from ME!" she sputtered as he reached his door. "Why you- OOMPH," she began, only to be cut off by his descending mouth.

Kissing her deeply as he moved through the doorway to his room, he smiled against her lips as he felt her begin to respond.

After several seconds, JJ broke away from his talented lips to lift startled baby blues to his. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Giving that mouth of yours something to do other than bitch," he told her, grinning. "Trust me, this is much more satisfying, honey."

"YOU-" JJ spat, only to be cut off again by his kiss.

Feeling her body soften against him as she sighed, Dave took advantage of the opportunity. Deepening the kiss, he slid his tongue past her parted lips, sweeping against her own questing tongue. Hands sliding down her torso over her towel, he gently squeezed her rounded hip as his mouth slanted across hers. Feeling her arms lift to tangle in his hair, he continued cherishing her mouth as he allowed some of his weight to fall against her. Breaking away from her lips to rain a path of kisses down the slope of her neck, he whispered, "Now, isn't that infinitely more satisfying than complaining about your day?"

Catching her breath as his teeth gently nipped at the rapidly beating pulse in her neck, JJ gasped, "Dave! We shouldn't be doing this!"

Loosening the towel cinched below her arm, David shook his head against her neck. "Now, that's where you're wrong, honey," he replied, bending to nip at her collar bone. "We should've been doing this all along," he rumbled, pulling the towel away to reveal her perfectly formed breasts.

Moaning as he felt JJ's hands slide more deeply into his hair, guiding his mouth to one thrusting peak, he heard her breath hitch as he slid his tongue around one nipple.

Shifting restlessly underneath him, JJ groaned, "David, please!"

Turning his attention toward her breast's twin, he smiled against her flushed skin. "Please, what, JJ?" he asked, blowing lightly against her other breast's rigid peak.

"You KNOW what!" JJ groaned, slapping at his shoulders. "At least you ought to, given how many times you've probably done this!"

"Oh, I think you overestimate me, honey," Dave breathed, kissing a trail down her taut stomach. "You've been listening to way too many rumors."

"Ha!" JJ replied, jerking as his lips pressed a gentle kiss to her thigh. "We really, REALLY shouldn't do this," she moaned, clutching at the pillows beneath her head as his tongue painted a path against the inside of her other thigh.

"Why not?" he murmured against her leg.

"It'll change everything," JJ said breathlessly.

"God, I hope so," Dave growled. "I think I've waited long enough for you."

"You waited for ME!" JJ gasped as his fingers tested her ready depths.

"Yeah, honey. I waited for you. But, I think that conversation can wait an hour or two, don't you?" Dave countered before lowering his mouth to taste her secrets.

Jerking against the sudden onslaught of sensation as Dave's mouth wreaked havoc on her senses, Jennifer Jareau decided that, for once, she'd let herself go and embrace the overwhelming pleasure the man above her was lavishing on her. Lifting her hips to his mouth, she felt his tongue slide over her hidden nerve bundle and his fingers working inside her, spurring her on.

He pushed her toward the edge, working her body as if he'd known it all his life. And as she hung on the precipice, poised to go over, she felt his body cover hers. She'd never be sure when he'd lost his clothes…too lost in the tidal wave of emotion that he'd created to notice. But she'd always remember that first time…the feeling of completion as he slid his body into hers.

"Good God, Jennifer," David groaned, cupping her thighs in his warm hands. Rolling his hips forward, he felt himself surrounded in her wet heat. "You feel amazing, honey. You're so tight," he moaned, thrusting further into her.

Lifting her hips to receive him, JJ nodded against his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the hollow in his neck.

"Are you okay, honey?" he whispered as he felt her arms wrap around his neck tightly.

"I feel so full," JJ moaned. "Move, David," she ordered. "I want to feel everything," she said softly, catching his earlobe between her lips and biting gently.

Thrusting gently, David gasped as he felt her essence surround him. "We need to go slow, sweetheart. We've got all night."

"Do slow later!" JJ ordered, lifting her legs to clutch him to her.

David smiled at her inadvertent admission that there would be a later. He'd had no doubt about that, but it was nice to know that she realized it too - even if it was subconsciously. Capturing her lips again, David moaned as he set a steady rhythm, claiming her body for the first time.

"Harder, Dave!" JJ begged.

"God, yes!" he bit out, slamming into her core as he felt her nails rake his back. "Is that what you want, honey?" he asked, tilting her hips to slam into her again.

"Don't stop!" JJ gasped. "Please, don't stop," JJ begged lifting her hips when he withdrew.

Plunging back into her, David shook his head. "I don't think I could, baby," Dave breathed, palming her firm buttocks to deepen his penetration.

As a haze of pleasure settled over her, Dave covered her mouth to muffle her screams of completion. Feeling her body contract around his manhood, Dave groaned deep in his throat as his own release assailed him.

Kissing her gently as his body finally relaxed above hers, Dave stared down into bottomless wide blue eyes. "You can't run anymore, Jennifer. You're caught and I'm not going to let go," he told her quietly, his body still a part of hers.

Swallowing convulsively at the softly spoken words, JJ shook her head. "You don't mean that," she whispered back.

Rolling to his side, he pulled her slight body against his. "Care to bet me on that.? I had to wait for an escaped snake to send you into my arms. A snake of all things! I'd say that's fate, honey. Especially after I've spent six months trying to get you to stay still with me for two seconds put together. Face it, Jennifer, we belong together. Who else will put up with your crazy phobias?"

"An aversion to snakes is not crazy!" JJ argued.

"No, but giving the maintenance man a free show was," Dave laughed.

"Don't remind me!" JJ wailed, covering her eyes with her hand. "If you'd just shot the damn snake…"

"We might not have ended up right here…which is where we should have been all along," Dave finished for her, squeezing her hip gently.

"Don't be arrogant," JJ huffed.

"There's a difference between confident and arrogant," Dave grinned.

"Semantics," JJ muttered.

"Tell me, JJ, is there someplace you'd rather be than right here?" Dave asked quietly, stroking her back.

"Well, no, not when you put it that way. But there were much better ways to get me into bed than a confrontation with a rabid boa constrictor," JJ retorted.

"True. But none quite so memorable," Dave laughed. "And, for the record, I don't just want you in my bed. I want you. Period."

"Remember that when I have you checking under desks, in beds, tubs, closets…"

"As long as you're climbing into bed with me, sharing my life, I'll do anything you want, honey," Dave promised, rolling his body to cover hers again.

Draping her arms loosely around her neck, JJ smiled. "Maybe the ends really do justify the means then."

"I'd say so, honey," he growled before lowering his mouth back to hers.

THE END


End file.
